Why I Identify As Butch

A blogger who inspires me, Butch Jaxon (ButchonTap) recently posed the question “How Butch Are You?” http://butchontap.com/2013/01/11/how-butch-are-you/ She came up with 3 good points for how to know which are 1)How you see yourself 2)How others see you 3)But, who cares?

In the end it really only matters how you see yourself which is where I am going with this. I haven’t been out for very long and I have come to realize that for me even more important than identifying as a lesbian was identifying as a butch lesbian. I have been having somewhat of an identity crisis of which I feel  I’m finally at the tail end. For me it has been really important to define what butch means to me. (Keep in mind this is for me personally.) So without further ado…Why I identify as butch.

First, as a Butch of All Trades, I feel that I am a very eclectic person. The butch in me shows up in different facets of my personality which I think is a bit of the reason why it’s been hard to define. 

     Dapperness

Once I came out and finally felt comfortable in my own skin I really started having this desire to be dapper. Which I guess I always had it because I realize now I projected it onto my ex-husband, dressing him how I really wanted to but didn’t feel like I could. I love ties. Regular ties, bow ties, ties with intricate knots. Vests, suspenders, wingtips, cufflinks, 40’s style hats and pinstripes…love them. Some day when I can afford it, I will have a suit made by Saint Harridan http://www.saintharridan.com/. To me, being dapper is butch. 

Ruggedness (Country)

This could be seen as the opposite of dapper but it’s totally possible to be both. I am country at heart and to me these things are country and butch. 1) Working hard. I know you can work hard at a lot of things but I mean the being outside in 115 degree weather, digging irrigation trenches, putting up fences, plowing fields kind of working hard. 2) Trucks. That is, liking trucks, fixing trucks, and 4-wheeling in trucks. 3) Hunting, Fishing, Camping. There’s something about being out in the wilderness that really seems to bring out the butch. In addition, gutting and skinning animals, playing with fire and whittling.  Along with those things… 4) Guns, knives, and really weapons of any sort. 5) Flannel, thermal, and big boots. Butch lumberjack without an awesome beard. 6) Tools. Knowing what more than your basic tools are and how to use them. 7) Coors Light. That’s all. For me, ruggedness is butch. 

The Other Stuff

Some other things that I feel are butch. 1) Smoking pipe tobacco and cigars. 2) Epic war movies. 3) Demonstrating gentlemanly behavior like opening doors and pulling out chairs. 4) Death metal. 5) Leather working. 6) Wood working. 7) My LazyBoy. 8) Being a romancer. 

Butch Femininity

With all the masculine butch stuff aside, butch femininity. For me (and my lady) this is the most important ingredient. Without the butch femininity I’d just be a man. 1) Feminine intuition. Because of this I better know what’s going on with my lady. I see what she wants, know how to meet her needs, and can quickly tell when something is off or wrong. 2) My lady heart. All rough and tough on the outside but inside is a tender feminine heart with a great capacity to love in a way that only a woman can.  3) Sensitivity. 4) In a lot of ways I still think and feel like a woman so really being butch is the best of both worlds combined.

So there it is as best as I can describe at this juncture.